Series Olaf's Crush
Chapter Five
Written by Rodangizzardcrusher3
Airdate January 31, 2015
Rating G
Previous Asle
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"Morning Elsa" Asle said as she woke up and yawned. Elsa sat up and said "morning Asle"

Asle went to open the door, surprised to find Anna about to knock on the other side. "What are you doing here, Anna?"

"I could ask you the same thing?" Anna said in return. "I'm staying here with Elsa. See, there's my bed" Asle answered as she pointed to a small box of icecubes.

"Rriigghhtt. Anyway, you can't ask me that. I'm the princess. I live here! Now get outta here before I get out the snow plough" Anna snapped as Asle ran out. Elsa said "what's with all the tenseness around Asle"

"Had a double date with her last night. Look Elsa, I don't think she's right for Olaf. She called me Princess Annie of Slutsville last night" Anna answered, Elsa trying to hold in laughter at that last comment. "I say we do Olaf a little favour, don't you?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, what if we give Olaf a letter from Asle saying something like, I don't know. I'm breaking up with you, or something"

"Anna, it's Olaf's choice. If he wants to be with me...I mean Asle, then we should let them be together"

Later on, Asle and Olaf were eating breakfast when Asle dropped one of her pancakes into the puddle of tabasco that Anna had spilt. "Oh, I'm such an idiot" Asle said as she picked it up, Olaf saying "oh it's okay, Asle. Here you go sis, have one of mine" as he put one of his on her plate.

"Sis? As in sister?" Kristoff asked as he entered. Olaf looked at Asle and said in a ghetto voice "oh yeah, peeps. As in, sister from anotha mista, you feel me, ma dude?"

"Right" Kristoff said as he heard Anna saying "look, I'm not the jerk here, Elsa. She is"

"Oh come on Anna. You're just overreacting" Elsa answered as they sat at the table. As Asle was putting her tabasco-dipped pancake in the bin, she then put it on a plate and came back in saying "here you go Anna. To make up for last night"

Anna looked at Elsa, who nodded as Anna said "oh, thanks Asle" while she picked up a fork and cut a piece. Asle then grabbed Olaf and Elsa saying "hey I need to show you two something" as Anna ate a piece of the pancake.

"What did you want to show us, Asle?"

"Nothing really. I just needed to get out of you know who's w-

"Wwwaaahhh!" Anna screamed as she ran in circles around the table with her mouth open and tongue hanging out shouting "Eltha! Eltha! Hep be!"

"Slow down Anna" Elsa said before Anna grabbed her sister's hand and squeezed it, Elsa's pain causing ice to come out and land in Anna's mouth. When she could finally talk again, Elsa looked at her hand and said "what were you doing?"

"I was just eating the pancake that Asle gave m..." Anna answered before looking at said snowman and saying "and she put God knows what in it!"

"Tabasco, actually" Asle corrected, Anna turning red with a furious look on her face. "Wow, she looks mad" Olaf said, Elsa saying "Olaf. I'm sure it's just one too many drops of toba-

"NO! I'm mad! And she better get outta here before I throw her in the oven!" Anna snapped, before Elsa held her back and said "Asle. Run!", prompting Asle to run upstairs in panic. Anna struggled to get out of her slightly stronger sister's grip, grunting and saying "come on Elsa. Don't be so soft! Let me at her!"

"Anna, you need to calm down, now!" Elsa said as they struggled. Anna finally pushed her sister off of her and ran up the stairs. Elsa picked herself up and grabbed a plate before following her. Opening the door to her bedroom, Elsa saw Anna cornering Asle with a snow shovel in her hands. "This is gonna hurt you a lot more than it hurts me!" Anna said as she readied to bring her weapon down, only for Elsa to hit over the head with the plate, the object shattering on impact as Anna fell to the floor unconscious. Elsa dropped the piece she was holding and said "it's okay Asle. Everything's fine. You're gonna be alright. Come here" as she knelt down to Asle's height, the latter hugging her "mother" tightly.

A few hours later after Anna had woken up and was sitting on the couch with a block of ice on her head where Elsa hit her, Asle was on the couch next to her with Olaf sat in the middle, Elsa saying "so, it's come to my attention that you two don't like each other"

"Oh really, I'm guessing her putting tabasco on my pancake and me trying to kill her didn't give anything away" Anna said sarcastically. "Anna please. We're trying to get you two to be civil with each other, and neither of you are helping"

"Oh my God, Elsa. Why can you never be on my side? Because of her my tongue is swollen and because of you I had a piece of china stuck in my head"

"It didn't even break your skin"

"I don't care! It still hurts"

"Does she always talk this much. Geez, no wonder you locked yourself away for 13 years. Better than hanging out here with her" Asle added.


"No, Asle. I was just keeping her safe then"

"And I'm guessing that's the same reason you wouldn't let her marry that guy from the Southern Isles, then"

"Well, Hans was a crazy-ass so that time Elsa was doing me a favor"

"Plus she just met him" Elsa added.

"Just to say, Elsa. Make sure you don't bless any marriage with her and that weird reindeer guy"

"Sven?" Olaf asked.

"No, she meant Kristoff. Plus, why shouldn't she bless it? How's that protecting me?"

"It's doing Kristoff a favor, that's for sure"

"Okay, Olaf. I'm gonna ask once, and I'm gonna ask nicely. Will you do me the honor of standing up and getting out of my fucking way so I can kill that snow-balled bi-

"So, is that how princesses talk here in Arendelle? Hm, it never mentioned that in the brochure"

"Brochu...does anything you say make sense!?"

"Sounds more like something one of those Florida whores would say"

"Did you just call me a Florida whore!" Anna snapped, even though she had no idea what Florida was.

"Well, it would suit you well. You know, young, clean, modest cup size. If you worked for Wandering Oaken then he'd turn a great profit renting you out"

"Hey Elsa, will you help me hide a body?" Anna sang sarcastically.

"Go away An-oh right. Anna, try to calm yourself down, okay. Try and think about something other than killing Asle"

"(sarcastic laugh) I'm calm. I'm totally calm. I don't need no meditation! I don't need no meth! I'm perfectly calm!"

"Okay Annie. Don't get your panties in a twist" Asle added, Anna exhaling slowly and picking up a kitchen knife saying "hey Asle, can you say hi to my Mom and Dad for me!" as she raised it in the sky. Suddenly, a blast of ice struck Anna's hand and knocked the knife out of her grasp. "What was that for?" Anna asked as she gripped her hand, Elsa standing up with a stern look on her face as she said "listen up, sis! If you threaten her, you threaten me! Now, I know she's a little annoying to you, but as far as I can care, that little blob of snow is like a daughter to me, and if you touch a snowflake on her head, then I will kick your ass so hard, your children's children will feel it!"

Elsa then snapped out of her craze and looked at Anna curled up in the corner with fear. Elsa calmed herself down and said "Anna, I'm sorry but I had to do that. Now, I suggest you try to get along with Asle and the same to you, Asle cause, (sigh) for once in my life the up's outnumber the downs. I have a great sister, and the best adopted daughter anyone could ask for, and I don't want everything going to hell like it always does. For once, I just want everything to be okay"

"(clears throat) Um, Elsa. I just wanna say something" Asle said as she stood off the seat and walked over to Anna, before adding "Anna. That tobasco-flavored pancake I gave you, I'm sorry for doing that. And I'm sorry for being such a pain in the ass at dinner last night"

"Oh. Well, I'm sorry Asle, for everything. For threatening to put your nose you-know-where and trying to kill you with a knife"

"And snow shovel"

"Yes, and snow shovel. Well, I'm sorry anyway" Anna said as they embraced. That night, Elsa smiled as Olaf said "well, that was sorted out pretty easily. You'll be a great mom Elsa"

"You really think so?"

"Of course. Look how you handled Anna and Asle today"

"hm. Maybe you're right. All I gotta do now is find someone to have kids with"

"Yeah. Well, guess I'll hit the sack. Goodnight Elsa"

"Night, Olaf" Elsa said as she went to bed, Olaf closing the door after saying "goodnight Asle", the latter answering "for God's sake. Can't a snow-girl get some peace and quiet around here!"