Series Olaf's Crush
Chapter Four
Written by Rodangizzardcrusher3
Airdate January 31, 2015
Rating G
Previous Ceiling
Next Conflict

Anna walked up to the castle holding hands with Kristoff as she said "So. What do you think of it?"

"It's okay for one of your ideas. Better than climbing up a mountain with no rope" Kristoff answered as they went to the door. Before they could open it, they heard noises, and voices. She could hear Olaf say "oh yeah, I like this. We should make this a regular thing!"

Suddenly, they heard Elsa screaming loudly. Then they heard her voice, and Anna could hear her say "oh yes, Olaf. This is great. I feel fantastic after doing that. Come on, baby! Give it to me! Give it to me! Give it to-

Anna opened the door and saw an unusual sight. Elsa on top of a ladder holding the ceiling saying "give it to me, Olaf. I need that paint now"

"Here you go Elsa" Olaf answered as he handed her a bucket, Elsa grabbing a paintbrush and painting the ceiling a bright blue color. "There. Done" Elsa said when she was finished. "Maybe next week we'll do some plowing in the garden"

"Well, I'm pretty sure that hoe is all worn out" Olaf said.

"Flip it over then. You can use both sides"

"What are you two doing?" Anna asked with a WTF look on her face.

"Fixing the crack in the ceiling" Olaf answered. "All rightey then. Anyway, Olaf. Kristoff and I were just talking and we thought it would be great if you were introducing us to Asle anytime soon"

"Oh. Yeah, she doesn't like...people"

"Is she shy?"

"What? Oh yeah, yeah. She's...terribly bashful. She isn't really one for socializing"

"Well, what a contrast. You're lots of fun and she's no fun at all. You complete her then"

"Ha ha ha. (sigh) Got that right" Olaf said with a fake laugh.

"Why don't we have like one of those double date things, then" Anna suggested.

"(sigh) Fine"

"How about uh, the fjord tomorrow night"

"Sure sure" Olaf answered. When Anna and Kristoff left, Olaf said "well, I'm in trouble"

"Why did you even answer her?" Elsa asked.

"How can't you answer someone?"

"I used to do it all the time. You could have just said that she just can't do dates or something"

"Well, couldn't you just make another snow-girl and pretend she was Asle?"

"I don't know. Maybe I could, it's just...(sigh) I don't know"

"Come on Elsa. Give it a try at least. For the sake of our relationship"

"Okay...I'll give it a try. For us" Elsa said as she looked around to make sure no one was looking. She motioned her hands to make some snow and moulded it to create a small human shape. "Alright, that oughta do it" she said as she added some finishing touches. When the snowman, or rather snow-woman, came to life, she said "hey Olaf, where are we?"

"Wow. How do you know who I am?"

"Why wouldn't I know. Elsa built you, Elsa built Marshmallow, then Elsa built me. I'm Asle, your little sister"

"Little sis-well, this is pretty awkward" Elsa said. "Oh hey Elsa. Didn't see you there. Hey Olaf, I have a question. Do we like, call her Mom or like...Mama Elsa or something?"

"No. No. God no. See, Asle, honey. Let's just start this from the beginning"

One description of the previous three chapters later...

"Oh, so let's get this straight. You gave him life, but since he didn't come out of you-know-where, it's not incest?"

"Exactly. But see, Asle. Anna thinks that you're Olaf's girlfriend, despite the fact that you didn't even exist till fourteen minutes ago. So my idea is, that you two go on a double date with Anna and Kristoff, you leave a bad first impression, then Anna'll want Olaf to "break up with you", then we can find some way to break the truth to them slowly. How does that sound?"

"Um. I think I got it but, just in case, can you tell me the whole thing over again, I wasn't really listening"

The next night, Anna and Kristoff sat on a bench on the edge of the fjord, waiting for Olaf and his "date" to arrive. Just then, Anna said "hey look, there's Olaf. That must be Asle" as Olaf said "Anna. Kristoff. I'd like you to meet my girlfriend, Asle"

"It's nice to meet you. I'm Anna, this is my boyfriend Kristoff. You know, you're a really lucky girl"

"Oh I know. Olaf is such a great guy" Asle said as she looked under the table at some cards with a script written on it. After a while, Anna asked "so, what was the big deal with Olaf seeing you naked, cause...well, you don't wear clothes"

"Well, you gotta respect a woman's privacy, clothes or not, right?" Asle answered. "Of course obviously you don't believe in that"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, with that skimpy outfit on you look like Princess Annie of Slutsville"

"Okay, that's a little too far isn't it, carrot nose? Here, hold my stuff so before it gets messy!" Anna said as she took out her earings and passed them to Kristoff, who said "well, it's been a fantastic evening but I think it's time for me to hit the sack. (fake yawn) Wwwwweeeeelllll Anna. Looks like you need to get some sleep. You look sleepy"

"Oh come on. I'm not even tired. You know what would make me ready for bed, would be melting obnoxious snow-people on a campfire. Hey Asle, you in?"

"Oh well, that time already, huh. Asle dear, I think we should be getting back" Olaf stuttered as he tried to think of an excuse. "Yeah, let's go to my room where we'll...well...we'll do...what you do when you're dating"

Kristoff then said "yeah it's a little late. Come on Anna. I can see those bags under your eyes" only for the latter to say "Oh please. It's 9:30. Can I at least stick her carrot nose up her a-

"Yep, time to go" Olaf said. "Asle. Shall we leave these two turtledoves to whatever they're doing?"

"Sure. Better than spending time with this weirdo you call a princess. I think the other one's better" Asle said as they left. "I can't believe this. Who does she think she's talking to!" Anna said spitefully.

Back at the castle, Asle said "so, how was that?"

"Oh yeah, you played it perfectly. So, what's your price?" Elsa asked.

"Well, all I really want is my own soulmate. I've seen how you two are like, and I've seen Kristoff and the gingernut. I just wanna know how it feels" Asle answered.

"Aw, you need a little boyfriend, huh?" Elsa asked, before adding "or girl, if you're a you-know-what"

"Oh I'm straight. Straight as this twig" Asle answered as she pointed to her arm. "Oh good, good. Well, I'll see what I can do"

"Thanks Elsa. I know you're not actually, but you're a great mom" Asle said as she hugged Elsa's legs(being only just tall enough to reach that height). After Asle had gone to sleep, Elsa sat on her bed looking at the snow-girl sleeping in the corner. Olaf then came in and said "she asleep yet?"

"Yeah. Quiet down a little" Elsa answered. Olaf sat on the bed with her, looking at Asle saying "you know, if she wasn't my sister, then I'd definitely date her, wouldn't you?"

"Hm. Yeah" Elsa said with a smile on her face. "Olaf. I was thinking though"


"Well, maybe we could just keep this a secret"


"Well, last time everybody found out about one of my secrets, I ended up being hunted down like an animal"

"What's your point?"

"Well, come on Olaf. Having snow and ice magic is unusual enough someone who isn't even my species, and doesn't even have a...

"Okay. Okay. I get the point! But, if we keep it secret from Anna, how's she gonna react when she finds out herself?"

"I don't know"

"Besides, it's not really dating, more like friends with benefits"

"Friends with benefits? Olaf, that means that two people aren't a couple and they just have sex. But we don't have sex. We're the opposite of friends with benefits"

"Yeah okay. But maybe we'll just break it to them slowly"

"After all. It's not really strings attached. It's just a little torrid love affair, that's all. Cause, you know, I'm Queen of Arendelle. I need an heir or something. Maybe one day you'll find a nice snowgirl and settle down"

"Yeah. But for now, let's just keep to our own. We'll have plenty of time for settling down in the future" Olaf said as they hugged. Their conversation then woke up Asle, who said "hey, can you guys keep it down over there? I'm trying to sleep"